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Having a best friend should not be taken for granted

A No-fail Guide on How to Stop Being Taken for Granted By Someone If you are a soft-spoken, people-pleasing person who is gullible to other people's sob stories, and are forever burdened with your work as well as others' work, chances are that you are being taken for granted. MissionSelf Staff Last Updated: Feb 20, 2018 There comes a time when you have to stop crossing oceans for people who wouldn't even jump a puddle for you.

The act further escalates to a regular habit for both you as well as for those who take you for granted. If these are the questions that you've had with yourself time and again, the following article is meant for you. It will tell you how to figure out if someone is taking you for granted, what to do when it happens, and how to make someone stop taking you for granted. How to Tell if Someone is Taking You for Granted We often live in denial when it comes to our loved ones, especially when in the heart of hearts, you know that they are wrong.

We often choose to run away rather than facing the harsh truths about how they are treating you. But no one is ever there for you. Don't get angry or personal. Talk to them lovingly and explain to them about all that has been happening, and that you are valued lightly. Do not start or get into any blame game. This can ruin things that could have otherwise been resolved calmly.

Talk with an 'I', viz. This will help you having a best friend should not be taken for granted. Respect Yourself Stop being so nice all the time. All this while, you were trying to please and keep all the wrong people in your life. You have wasted your time and energy, and have let go of wonderful experiences and people who would have valued you more.

Realize one thing, you are a human with emotions and are allowed to feel what you feel. You need to let the world around you know that you are not a doormat to be used and forgotten, and most importantly, that you need to be respected.

When you begin talking with 'I', it gives you a little more self-confidence, while giving you a prominence and importance in the conversation.

A No-fail Guide on How to Stop Being Taken for Granted By Someone

Say No Putting your foot down and saying no will break the dependency habit, thus making it the most important step as well as difficult for you. Say NO and mean it. Don't just say no and do it anyway. You don't need to be a 'yes man' all the time.

Don’t Take Your Best Friend for Granted

And if you find yourself falling into old habits, remind yourself, "It's okay to say no. Doing so will work on two levels for both of you. You begin to say no and learn to respect yourself. While they begin to accept receiving 'no' for an answer while teaching them some boundaries. Actions Have Consequences You need not feel guilty while refusing to help someone who fails to appreciate you; you are helping yourself and there is nothing wrong with that.

If people leave you over a trivial no, they were probably using you anyway. You will find someone better who will not use you like an object and respect you for what you are. Believe in the motto, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Meaning, behave the way you would like others to behave with you.

How to Stop Being Taken for Granted

This will help you to respect yourself, while respecting others. Be Strong Till now was the easy part. Staying strong, now that is tough.

Stick to your guns and say no, and mean it. Start off slow and build upon the habit. It having a best friend should not be taken for granted come as a surprise for them, but it is okay. They will learn and so will you. Learn to put yourself first before others. How to Make Someone Stop Taking You for Granted This is tough love; realize this, you have taken yourself for granted, and hence, so does everyone.

You need to dust off the past, and begin right now. Believe in Yourself You might find some important people distancing themselves from you. This is mostly because you stopped doing everything for them. You are breaking your bad habit, and if it means someone leaves, but in return, you will gain self-respect and confidence, then so be it! Take Counseling If your disease to please continues, seek help, be it from a true friend, family, or therapist.

Give yourself first preference. People may come and go, no matter who they are, but you are your best friend, so stop abusing and start respecting yourself. You might not matter to people, but you should matter to yourself.

If you don't respect yourself, how can you expect it from others? Everything is Not Personal A big part of your 'yes man' behavior is the need to be in the good books of others. Okay, let's play along with this little thought. You want to be in their good books, but you are falling into the doormat category as well. Now is that where you want to be? Just because someone wants something out of you, doesn't always mean you need to provide it to them. It also doesn't mean that you don't have needs either.

Tell them your priority and that their wants fall far lower than your immediate needs. Do not fall into emotional blackmail, pressure, or encourage manipulative talks. Stick to your guns and simply decline.

Remind yourself that it is not your job or responsibility to fix them or their problems. Set Boundaries This is a matter of practice. Setting boundaries will teach you and them where the line is drawn and what is expected over and above it. No matter how much they try to push your buttons in having their way, hold on to your guns and say no.

If things get too much for you to handle, do not cave in; simply get up and leave the location for a while. This gives you and the other person some space to calm down. Talk to the Offender Have a one-on-one conversation with the person who is repeatedly being pushy and manipulating you into doing what they want you to do. Read the following example to understand better. I wanted to talk to you for a bit.

You asked me to babysit your children yesterday. I've done that far too many times this month itself. I have some errands to run and my own family to attend to. So babysitting won't be possible. But you said you would! No, I don't remember saying any such thing. You told me to babysit for you and I did, and besides, I have my own life too, you know. But I thought we were best friends! We are - but I am not your nanny or on-call babysitter.

I don't mind occasional babysitting for you, but not all the time, and definitely not out of the blue like this. I hope you understand. At the same time, don't just say no and then cave in. People who are dependent on you are used to you saying 'yes' and doing everything for them.

They will do their best and play with having a best friend should not be taken for granted emotions.

Questions & Answers

Do not fall prey to that. Remind them of the boundaries and that they are overstepping them. You might feel awkward and guilty the first few times you refuse to aid someone.

  • Regardless, if you know that this person would run to see you with a box of ice cream and your favorite playlist if something bad happens—you have a friend;
  • I wanted to talk to you for a bit.

Don't worry, they will learn to respect you and your boundaries, and so will you.